A Lot Of Scotch And A Misplaced Hook
by reddieseggos1711
Summary: A lot of scotch. That's about what Emma remembers about that night. And a hook. A hook that she had wound up accidentally taking home with her. Her memories from that night were very limited. Until Regina so gracelessly reminds her of it. It turns out that night may have been more important than she originally thought.


_**A Lot of Scotch and A Misplaced Hook**_

 **Emma POV**

"I hate you, Neal! I hate you!" I screamed coldly in anger as I slammed the door behind me furiously.

Neal and I didn't fight much, and when we did, they weren't big fights. This was the biggest so far.

"Emma, please! It wasn't your fault!"

"No shit, Sherlock! It was yours!"

It was also the first time I had spent the night in prison. Or anything close to a prison. It was actually just the cell in the mall guard's office.

I was a hormonal teenage girl, so spending a night in any cell, because your boyfriend openly framed you for theft, probably wasn't the greatest thing for the relationship.

"Emma, please! Wait!" I heard Neal frantically call after me, but I was already halfway down the street, stomping aggressively. With the sun going down at a rapid speed, and the low, grey clouds overhead drawing darker, I knew the streets wouldn't be safe. I felt as though the sidewalk would crumble beneath me at the fury in my steps. I felt the cool evening air start to settle, causing me to shiver and hug myself tightly. I looked around for somewhere to cool off. Maybe somewhere that served minors?

I don't know what drew me into that bar. Maybe it was just the thought of being out of the cold. Or maybe it was the fact that the bartender looked to be about 90, and would be easy to trick into thinking that I was legally allowed to drink. Yeah, it was probably more-so the second option. Upon entering the dimly lit bar, I felt the temperature drop dramatically. I swiftly removed my scarf and jacket, leaving only a loose-fitting tee and my jeans. Just the change of style itself made me look older. Just to adapt to the mood, I pulled my ponytail out of my hair, letting it flow down my back in short curls, and removed my glasses. As I took a few more steps, and made my way over to a stool, I felt multiple eyes watching me, making me a tad uncomfortable. Reminding myself that this was a bar after all, I cranked my neck to try and see who was staring, and caught sight of a man in a back booth. In an attempt to blend in, I shot him a flirtatious wink and he smirked. It left me feeling proud that I had managed to smoothly brush off the awkwardness of the situation.

 _Emma, calm down. You're only here to drink your anger away, not to hook up with anyone._

I turn back to the bartender.

"I'll have a scotch- neat, please," I let out an internal sigh of relief when the old hag, just nodded without question. She served it to me moments later. I thanked her and brought the cool glass to my lips. I tried to remember the last time I had this, as I felt the liquid run down my throat. I lowered the glass onto the table, and, leaning heavily on my arm, started swishing the drink around with my other. The last time felt to be _ages_ ago, when in actual fact it was probably only a month ago.

"What's wrong, dear? Rough night?" Startled by the voice, I shot my head up, and knocked over my glass.

"Oh, crap! I am so sorry!" I apologised frantically, as I tried to clean up my mess.

"Don't worry about it! Here- have another one, on the house," Realising that the voice had come from the bartender, I smiled.

"Thanks. I- uh- I am sorry about the mess…" I muttered again. She just brushed me off. I noticed that her name badge said January. Whether or not that was her real name, I had to call her something.

"So, dear, what's wrong? You looked awfully gloomy," She inquired as she began to wipe up the spillage. Taking a sip of my new drink, I sighed.

"My boyfriend and I- we kind of had a fight…" I stated, in a less-than-enthused voice.

"Oh my, well that's no good. What happened? Or is it too personal? You don't have to tell me anything. I am only the one who serves you your rounds-"

"No, no. It's fine. I need to get it off my chest anyway. My boyfriend, see, he was stealing-"

"Oh dear."

I nodded. "And well, the security guard caught him and asked him what was going on. And the bastard said the first thing that came to mind. That _I_ was stealing. I ended up having to stay the night in the mall guard's pathetic excuse for a cell," By the end of the tale, I had managed to inhale four drinks, which January must've been swapping constantly.

"That's awful!" She sympathised. I just shrugged.

"I'm usually used to it… but it's never gone this far," I fiddled with my drink for a few seconds before downing it like a shot. I slid it across the bar and, almost instantly, it was slid back full again.

"Well, I hope it gets better," January told me, before excusing herself and serving another customer. I downed, yet, another scotch, and received another glass. And another and another. _I hope Neal trips on the curb and is run over by a steam roller._ I couldn't help but think as I, this time, slowly sipped the liquid from my glass. I sat staring at it, questioning how many drinks I had had. I must have been starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, because I started talking out loud.

"Is- is this my- my 31st or- or 32nd drink?" I lifted the drink to eye height and squinted one eye, looking through the glass.

"Actually, love, I believe it is your 49th drink," Someone's voice, deep and seductive, came from behind me.

"Well then, let's make it 50. January! Refill please!" I called as the man who had spoken had taken a seat at the bar, next to me. And of all of hell and Hades, WHAT WAS HE WEARING!?

"My, you're a fine young lass. May I ask of what I shall call you?" He started, leaning one arm on the bar.

"My name? My name is Emma," I responded. He had a strange way of talking. And dressing.

"Ah, Emma. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman," Well, he certain knew How to Charm and Flatter 101. "The name's Jones. Killian Jones. But most people have taken to call me by my more colourful moniker… Hook."

I let out a laugh. "What? As in Captain Hook?" He smirked in amusement.

"Ah, so you've heard of me," He seemed pleased at my response. I laughed yet again.

"Yeah, I guess. Everyone knows who Captain Hook is. Or at least everyone who has seen a decent Disney movie," He looked confused at my comment. "Why do they call you that?"

Now it was his turn to laugh. "Why do they call me that? Seems only fitting…" He raised his left arm to reveal, in place of his hand, a hook.

"Holy shit! How did that happen?" I jumped back, startled at the sight of a potential weapon in place of a body part.

"Ah, well, let's just say that the crocodile is not someone to mess with." The hell was wrong with this guy? Was he being serious? He was even dressed like a pirate! Well, sort of. If pirates wore leather and were the hottest guys in existence, then, yeah, he could look like a pirate.

"Sure, alright then," I nodded sceptically, taking another sip of my scotch.

"Now Emma, would you mind telling in what realm the portal has taken me to?" He asked in all seriousness.

"Is that your flirty way of asking me what city we're in? You should know that. Anyhow, we're in Boston." I respond, going in for my 51st glass.

"Right, right. I have no idea where that is. How far away is it from Neverland? Hell, how far are we from Misthaven?"

I knew I shouldn't laugh. He was probably actually lost. I couldn't help myself. I let out a loud heartfelt chuckle.

"Sorry, Captain. I can't help you there," I joked, between laughs.

"That's quite alright, lass."

"How did you say you got here?" I asked. Had we covered this already? I wouldn't know. I was a minor drinking. It didn't take much for me to get wasted.

"Well, I got into a fight with a particular fairy, and it ended with her pushing me through a portal to devils knows where," He stated casually.

"Let me guess; the fairy was Tinkerbelle?" I felt another giggle arise in my throat. Man, this guy was staying in character fantastically.

"You know her too? What a small world-"

"Sir, can I get you anything?" Came January's voice. I looked over, curious to see what he ordered.

"Could I get a rum- wait, excuse me, hold on," Killian turned to me with a dumbfounded look on his face. "What's the currency here? I have a strange feeling that it's not copper, silver and gold, and I won't order if I can't pay."

What country still uses copper, silver and gold? He was clearly not from around here. But I was feeling generous and I was hella drunk, so I offered.

"Hey, I'll pay," I told him, subconsciously placing a hand on his shoulder.

He shook his head. "There is no way I am letting a fair maiden such as yourself pay for me."

"Stop treating me like a princess, and let me buy you a damn drink. I'm not like other 'fair maidens' you may have met," I snapped back, finishing sweetly. I turned to face the bartender. "January, I'm buying, kay?"

…

Two hours and a crap tonne of wasted money later, we were both drunk as shit and laughing our asses off.

"Are you kidding? Okay, okay, okay! Ready? _'I'm going to murder some kids!'"_ I remember saying in an awkward English accent, to try and imitate the evil Peter Pan this sexy, leather wearing man was describing.

"That's right!" He would encourage although he knew I couldn't pull it off to save my life. "Hey, um, do you know of anywhere I could stay for the night? Could you show me?"

The next thing I knew, we were on the streets, drunk skipping towards the nearest bed and breakfast. We found one and I paid for a room for him for the night. I knew it was probably a scam to get free things but who cares. He was gorgeous!

"Well, milady, since you paid for my room, it seems only fitting that I at least invite you up," He seemed to be handling his alcohol a lot better than I was. He barely slurred or mumbled any words. Me on the other hand? Couldn't say one word without stumbling over it.

"S-su-sure!"

I remember very little after that. The last thing I remember thinking was:

 _Holy crap! I'm going home with Killian! The hot guy from the bar!_

…

 _Holy crap! Who the hell did I go home with last night?_

Was the first thing I remember thinking the next morning.

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. A hotel maybe? My head pounded with possibly the worst hangover ever. I looked around for any sign of a guy. I got nothing, except for the terrible body aches I got when I climbed out of bed. _Jeez, last night must've been good. I don't think I can walk!_

Of course I was overexaggerating. However, I did spend the next half hour laying still on the floor.

There were no signs that anyone was still here. On the opposite side of the bed, there was a heap of glitter. Who knows why? Some strange part of my brain was telling me that it was fairy dust and that it was what caused the man to disappear. I blamed it on the hangover and ignored it. It was then that the thought struck me.

I still had a boyfriend. Sure, we had a fight, but it's not like we were on a break or anything. I had just cheated on my boyfriend… with someone I did not remember!

Quickly standing up, and quickly regretting it as a horrid pain shot through my lower half, I threw my clothes on and headed out. Practically shoving the room keys at the receptionist, I bolted out the front doors and made my way back to Neal. I planned on apologising. For what, he would not know. He would assume I was sorry for the fight and what not. Nope! I was sorry for cheating on him.

When I finally made it home, I knocked frantically on the door, something I wouldn't normally do, but I was scared that he wouldn't want me there. The door swung open with great force, and before a word could be said I spoke.

"I am so sorry, Neal! I didn't mean it! It was an accident! You know I would never do that to you on purpose! It just happened!" As I apologised, I felt tears spring to my eyes and cloud my vision.

"Woah, Emma! It's okay! Everything is okay! I forgive you! It wasn't your fault!" Neal tried to calm me down as he scooped me into a hug. I let myself go and I sobbed into his shoulder. I had cheated on him! I felt what I thought was Neal fiddling with my hair, and looked up at him, my face tear-stricken.

"Emma? What is this?" Neal gave a hard yank on something in my hair, making me wince, and brought it in front of my face. It was a hook. _I had a hook in my hair? How did that happ- oh._ I suddenly remember bits and pieces of the previous night, one thing being someone with a hook for a hand taking me home. I cringed at some of the small snippets of the night I remembered. The man's name was not one.

"I wouldn't touch that if I were you…" I started, looking at the hook in disgust. "You don't know where it's been." _But I know where it's been!_ I took it from his hands and decided that I would take it back to the bar tonight. I was glad that whole thing was over.

…

 **Killian POV**

Curse that damn fairy! That was the first girl I had thought about as anything other than sex since Milah! And thanks to Little Miss Tinkerbelle, I didn't even remember her name! And she had my hook. Hell, if she was as wasted as I was, it would probably still be tangled in her hair from the night before. I remembered how cute she was, her adorable laugh, how experienced she was in bed, her amazing green eyes. If only a revenge-sought pirate could fall in love. But alas, I didn't recall her name or the town she spoke of or basically any of the important details.

"Captain! You rotten man! What do you mean you want to go back? That was meant to be a punishment!" Came the voice of the fairy I was not amused with.

"Well, firstly, she has my hook," I raised my hand in utter annoyance. She groaned.

"You spent the night with her, didn't you? I should think you would want a new one, after last night! Must've been _nasty._ The poor girl could barely walk this morning!" The angry fairy fumed. Her face reddening to almost an identical shade as the current sunset.

"How dare you talk to me like that! I want another portal to that place, now!" I retorted back.

"Ugh! You know what? You can go there, just so I can escape your hideous voice!" Within seconds a portal was opening in the ground and I found myself falling into it. I landed square on the sidewalk, same place as yesterday. I had to find my way back to that bar, and just hope that she was there… with my hook. I must have looked absolutley bonkers, walking around the streets as I was. By it paid off, as I saw the neon flashing open sign on the familiar bar. Almost sprinting across the street to it, I glanced inside to scam the room. Not seeing anyone recognisable, I headed in.

"Good evening, Sir. You're back again! What can I get you?" The bartender, whose nametag read January, asked me. She must've been the same one from last night, if she remembered me.

"Uh, no, actually. Say, did anyone hand in a metal hook since yesterday?" I managed to find the right words to say, without sounding mental.

"Actually, yeah," She walked off, and moments later returned with my hook. "The young, blonde you were with last night handed it in a few minutes ago."

"Really? Is she still here?" I felt unnecsesary excitement bubble up within me. _Killian, no! You're still trying to avenge Milah!_ I knew I shouldn't have feelings for her, but just the thought of seeing her again made me smile.

"Oh, yeah. Great news: she made up with her boyfriend last night so she brought him here. Fairly certain that's them making out in the back booth."

 _What?_ She had a boyfriend? So, what was last night then? Just a fluke? An accident? A mistake?

"Uh, thanks, January," I said half-heartedly. I slowly headed over to the back. There she was. As beautiful as I remembered. Not nearly as drunk as I remembered. She was with someone. Laughing and talking and… kissing. She did have a boyfriend. The hope that January was wrong all but disintegrated into the ground. I had no chance now. Might as well just forget she existed.

She was going home with someone else.

….

 **Emma POV**

 _Back to the present_

"I wish we had stayed longer," The pirate beside me complained, with a sigh.

"Come on, Killian! If we had stayed any longer, the town would have forgotten what we looked like!" I shot back, as he leant his head on my shoulder as we walked.

"I highly doubt adding a few more days onto our honeymoon would cause everyone to forget us," He responded, and I rolled my eyes in amusement. We continued walking until we reached Granny's, deciding that we were hungry somewhere past the clock tower. We headed inside and, of course, were immediately greeted by the Charming-Mills clan.

"Hey, Mom! Hey, Killian! How was your honeymoon?" Henry was the first to speak. I found myself blushing furiously before the question had even been answered.

"Well, let's just say that I wish it had been longer," Killian laughed.

"Well, we're glad you had… fun," Regina proceeded cautiously. "I realised when you left that I had yet to get you a wedding gift. So, I conjured something up for you. Magic of course, but nothing much."

"Oh, Regina. You didn't need to do that. We were fine without any gifts," I told her, taking a few steps closer to her.

"Yeah, well, there's a difference between you not wanting a gift, and me wanting to give you one. I don't normally give gifts."

"Come on, Emma. Accept the gift! We wanna see!" My mother coached, being nosy as usual.

"Alright, we'll take it. But can we do it away from her-" I gestured towards my mom. "Just to leave her in suspense?"

"Sure. Oh, the pleasure I would take from that," Regina smirked, as Mom scowled coldly. "Your place?" I nodded, with a devious smirk, and in a puff of people smoke we were home.

"Ah, so good to be home," I sighed taking in the familiar surroundings.

"It is indeed," Killian agreed, as we turned to face Regina.

"Okay, now, as I said before, I don't normally give gifts so this is just a little something I whipped up. I guess you could call it a memory montage or something. I don't know. Basically, I just combined all important memories of you two and turned them into… well, this," She explained. Or at least tried to. It was very evident that she didn't do this often. For someone so well-refined, seeing that gift-giving left her so awkward was kind of shocking.

"Thank you so much, Regina! I'm sure it's lovely-" I was interrupted by the sound of her pager beeping.

"Ugh, I am sorry, but I have to go. Leroy just punctured the gas tank out at the town hall. I'll talk to you later," Regina placed two heart-shaped, oddly decorated dreamcatchers into our hands, before disappearing again. They were unlike any I had used, or even seen, before. But I was sure that they worked the same way.

"Do you wanna try them?" I gestured towards the gifts in our hands.

"I don't see why not," Killian responded, holding the dreamcatcher out to me. "Swan, work your magic."

I nodded, and activated the dreamcatchers as though they were like every other one I had used. They had a different effect though. Instead of seeing the events through our own eyes, as memories are usually presented, they were shown to us from a third person perspective. We were watching the memories instead of experiencing them. It added a nice touch. To see our story unfold.

However, there was something strange that I saw. The very first memory… wasn't of me and Killian. It was of a one-night-stand I had with some random guy at a bar back when I was with Neal. I decided to leave that part out, calling it a fluke, as the second memory was the first time Killian and I met. Another thing that confused me was when the memory of Henry's birth popped into view. That wasn't a memory of us. It was an important memory of me, but, unless you consider the birth of your step-son _years_ before he became your step-son 'important', it wasn't to Killian. Again, I let it slide and just continued to watch.

When it was over, and I must admit, Regina did a wonderful job, I turned to face Killian.

"That was beautiful, wasn't it?" I asked, shooting him a curious look.

"It was. Two things in that rather confused me though," He replied, a questioning look marking his features.

"And what were they?" I took the dreamcatcher out of his hand and set it down on the table.

"Well, the first memory wasn't of you and I, it was of me and a one-night-stand I had with some random girl at a bar and-"

"Wait, what?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, just some girl from several years back. The only parts of that night I remember are that she had blonde hair, green eyes and she had a _lot_ of scotch that night. That's all. You don't need to worry," He told me brushing it off.

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

"Killian. I had that memory too. Several years ago, when I was a teenager, I got in a fight with Neal and went out drinking. I drunk way too much _scotch_ and ended up going home with a guy whom I only remember because I took his _hook_ home with me in my hair," I explained, my voice coming out weak at the fact that I may have been with Killian before.

"That's funny because- no… No. You don't think-?" He started but couldn't appear to get the words out.

I nodded slowly. "I think that was me. I think we slept together before we even knew each other."

"Bloody hell…" His eyes widened. He was the handsome man I had called Captain that night. "But that still doesn't explain why there was a memory of you birthing Henry in my dreamcatcher?"

"Wait- you had that too-" Before I could finish, a blast of purple smoke seeped into the room, and Regina appeared yet again.

"Sorry, forgot my keys," Was all she said. She didn't need keys, she could teleport!

"Wait, Regina!" She halted in her tracks and looked at me.

"Yes?"

"Can you explain to us why the memory of Henry's birth was in there? Was it a fluke?" I asked.

"A fluke? With this spell? I highly doubt it. I didn't choose the memories, I just summoned them. Important memories, you know?" She explained, rather simply. I internally groaned.

"Then I don't understand. Does the birth of your step-son count as an important memory, even if he wasn't there?"

"No. If it was the birth of your son, and you weren't there, then it would be included. But not step-son," Regina seemed to have just processed what she had just said, and her eyes bulged from her head. "No, no. It's impossible. For that to have happened you two needed to be together around the time of Henry's conception-" She cut off, when she saw the guilty expressions on our faces.

"Yes, love, we may have spent _one night_ together, around the time of the lad's conception. That explains a lot," Killian piped up. "Regina? Does this mean… I am Henry's biological father?"

"Holy shit, I believe it does. I can't believe this! No! We have to be sure! Meet me at Granny's in half an hour. I'm going to run some tests on you."

…

We arrived at Granny's where Regina was already waiting inside with Henry.

"Great, you're here. Now, stand still," Regina waved her hand, exaggeratingly over Killian and then again over Henry. Within seconds, she held in her hands, two scripts of paper. She was comparing them in shock and utter disbelief.

"Well, I'll say. It's true," Was all she said before sitting down. _Emma! Calm down! Just because he's the actual father of your son does not mean you can over react at the situation!_ The voice in my head though did not stop me from paling and feeling light head, before being forced to sit down. I had to talk to my son.

"Henry?" I managed to say, stepping over to him, with a gulp.

"Yeah, Mom?" He responded, confused as to why his other mom had perform mysterious magic on him with so much as an explanation.

"What would you say if I told you that your dad is actually alive?"

"Neal's alive?!" His face lit up with pure joy, and I knew I had worded it wrong.

"No, sorry kid. I mean- what if Neal wasn't actually your father. And that the man who is… is actually alive?" I tried again, this time making a little more sense in my head.

"No offense mom, but I'd say you were a slut," Ouch. Harsh, kid, harsh. Teenagers are savage. Regina let out a laugh at her son's response.

"Yeah, okay, but not really," I tried to defend but it was sounding pretty bad to me. "There were only ever two men… and as it turns out, the one I thought was your father…wasn't."

"So… do you know who it is? Or did you just tell me this to hurt my feelings and break my heart?" The kid snapped back and I didn't blame him. This was a lot to take in.

"Yes, the other man… was Killian…"

The two men looked at each other. Blue eyes met brown ones. And Henry only said one more thing.

"Dad?"

…

 **THE END!**

 **YEPPPP. I know I am an idiot! But this was something on my mind sooooo I was like "to hell with it! I'll write a really strange story!"**

 **You don't even need to like this because I know it is hella weird but annnyway!**

 **Enjoy my insanity and watch it unfold.**


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